Guest Writer: Ducks To The Big Ten?

Welcome, Kyle Jonsson.

In a first for me here on Ditch Rich, we are going to welcome a good friend of mine, and fellow UO alum, Kyle Jonsson. Kyle saw the Instagram post from Brutus Buckeye yesterday and had some fun stuff to add to the “Oregon going to the Big Ten” dreams/conspiracies, and I thought it’d be a great way to kick off the 2023 football season.

Here’s what he had to say:

As Ditch Rich’s first guest writer, I think it’s important that I begin with my history as a Duck fan, because—I should warn you—it is not nearly as storied as most. My personal ducking autocorrect wasn’t fully programmed until somewhere around 2008. Right around that one time when LeGarrette Blount punched someone from Idaho in the face. Personally, I think Blount set a poor example for young, impressionable Duck fans that day. You should never hit someone in a stand your ground state.

For those of you who haven’t written me off as fairweather fan yet, I believe I’m the perfect new-age Duck fan to explain to you all that yesterday’s Instagram post from Ohio State’s mascot, Brutus Buckeye, is cold-hard proof that the Oregon Ducks are Big Ten-bound.

Anyone who tells you that the Buckeyes are just hinting towards scheduling a make up game in Eugene are blind. We all know—deep in our hearts—that Big Ten teams will never return to Autzen. UCLA will be the last one to make that mistake.

Sure, I might be pinning my hopes of a better future on a goofy social media post from a mascot whose namesake is literally the greatest backstabber of all time, but what am I supposed to believe? The conference has been dangerously close to a media deal since last July. If you don’t think we’re praying for Root Sports NW at this point, you’re not paying attention.

So please, Big Ten, pick me. Choose me. Love me.

Why should the state of Ohio be so much luckier than us? I ask our midwestern brethren, while your rivers are catching on fire wouldn’t you rather enjoy the occasional football game in the great state of Oregon? We’ll even bring our conference rival with us. It sounds like the Big Ten could use a replacement for their own purple-based-prestigious-academic-institution-that-doesn’t-win-games-in-January right about now.

I understand that being a fan of sport in 2023 means you should never get your hopes up from an Instagram post. But in the spirit of Ditch Rich, I am also an eternal optimist. But until we do, if ever, hear what the plans are for the future, we all deserve the opportunity to imagine a world where the Ducks pluck the Buckeyes all over again. And this time at home.

In summary, just give me this.

I can’t thank Kyle enough for his contribution to the discourse, and to the blog. It’s literally the first one of the year, and I think he nailed it.

Go Ducks.