Gold (Cougar’s Version): Wazzu Game Preview

Maybe this season is a masterpiece ’til the Cougs tear it all up.

Our third-ranked Oregon Ducks are gearing up to take on the only team in the state of Washington that actually beats us on a regular basis, and Taylor Swift just re-released some of her most epic songs-to-cry-to.

Coincidence? I think not!

Since 2015, the Cougs have won four of the last six meetings with Oregon, and even though we have won two straight, and even though we are a really good football team, and even though Wazzu fired their head University researcher/former head coach, Nick Rolovich, I am still scared shitless about this game.

The only healthy outlet for my anxiety has been last night’s release of Red (Taylor’s Version), a 30-song re-recording of Taylor Swift’s 2012 deluxe album of the same name that marked her transcendence from a little country starlet to the voice of multiple generations.

It’s all building up in a far too “perfect” fashion.

The Ducks just keep climbing in the polls (which don’t exist until December), and then a pesky division rival (who also might be the third-best team in the conference) comes to town to play on a brisk mid-November night.

The autumn leaves are falling down like pieces into place, just like how Taylor Swift’s magnum opus, All Too Well, foretold.

Plus, that song is about Jake Gyllenhaal, who doesn’t believe in showers, just like Wazzu, so it’s truly an uncanny prophecy, and I just hope that Saturday night doesn’t give me anything new to sob-sing about.

I don’t think I’d even be as worried about this game if it was UDub, or USC, or even the Beavs—Oregon certainly knows how to meet a moment when that moment is clear and obvious—but this game is the one that everyone is circling as a prime candidate for classic #Pac12AfterDark chaos.

Those are my initial, bone-chilling feelings about this game, but the greatest thinkers of our time—and Nick Rolovich—told me that facts don’t care about my feelings.

So let’s look at those facts:

I tried to outsmart myself last week with all that “um, actually we’re gonna beat UDub through the air,” but then Travis Dye reminded me of who the Ducks really are.

If it was even possible, WSU is worse than the Huskies at running the ball (98th in the nation), and they can’t stop the run either (91st in yards per rush allowed).

As we know, the Ducks can run the ball and stop the run among the literal best in the country, and so all those factors tell us that the simplest possible path for an Oregon victory is to sell out for the ground game.

Taylor Swift once said: 

I wish I could run to you / And I hope you know that every time I don’t, I almost do.

Well, the realest Swifties can admit when Taylor got one wrong, and I just hope that every time Joe Moorhead wants to run the ball, he just actually does it.

Their QB, Jayden de Laura (#4) is pretty talented in general but not quite at Falk or Minshew in terms of passing prowess.

And even though the Cougs are generally “bad” this year at running the ball, I’m still pretty scared of their 100 year-old runningback, Max Borghi (#21).

Last time WSU was in Eugene, this game came down to a field goal from The Hero, Camden Lewis. I was concerned by some moments of weakness from the Ducks’ punt and kick return coverage last week in Seattle, and Cristobal & Co. echo’d a similar sentiment this week throughout practice.

If this game comes down to another special teams play, let’s just hope it’s a 48-yard bomb from our Hero, and not a posse of Palousers taking one back on us.

And just like in the Husky game, AB will find his rhythm and take his shots. He is been exactly what we need him to be to this point, and he will continue to be that.

Look, we all knew the Cougs were trouble when the schedule had them walking into Autzen at 7:30 PM pst, but if the Ducks can stick to what they do best in the ground game, they can avoid lying on the cold hard ground.

Not getting greedy this week, either, 37-35, Oregon on top, same score as Camden’s game.

Go Ducks.